I have a fantasy of the cheerleaders stomping on a journalism student who is spamming a board trying to redirect readers to another site. Then Dawkins comes over and rips out his heart. Then proceeds to perform open heart surgery where he replaces it.
After that Dawkins personally mentors this troubled young student and he is a better person for it. He goes on to live a long life remembering when Dawkins literally and figuratively ripped out his heart and took his life only to save him both mentally and physically. Never again will he spam a board with the crap he once did.